I’m a Tech Addict — Weekly newsletter of Painfully Honest Tech — Issue #9
Are you a tech addict, too?
Hi, my name is Jason and I’m an addict. I’m a tech addict. Last year, I spent over $27,000 on tech products. Less than some, sure, but more than most and way out of line with what I make every year. And that doesn’t even count the tech that I get from companies that want me to review their products. And I get a lot of stuff. If I included the retail value of that stuff the number would be much higher. For instance, last year a company sent me a projector that retails for over $5000. Super cool and it really is a great projector (review coming soon, subscribe so you don’t miss it!). It’s not something I would buy for myself. It’s not something I would be able to buy for myself. It has skewed my sense of reality.
Right now, you’re probably thinking, “hey, that doesn’t sound all that bad” but it is. It doesn’t have to be, but it is. For one thing, I started reviewing tech when I quit drinking 10 years ago. At first, I just did it because it was something to do other than drink, but after a while people started watching the videos and my YouTube channel grew some legs. Eventually, I was able to quit my day job and make YouTube videos full time. I also livestream on Amazon where I basically just talk about stuff that I like to people who are looking for a product like that.
It’s not a bad way to make a living, but there’s a dark underbelly to it: When I quit drinking, I moved the focus of my addictive behavior from drinking to buying stuff and now it’s to the point where I can spend thousands of dollars without hardly blinking an eye, just like I used to be able to drink a 6 pack of tall boys as a way to get ready for a night out. In fact, just a couple weeks ago I bought a new MacBook that cost $3500 and an Apple Studio Display to go along with it. $5100 spent in a day. To make matters worse, before that I had spent a few thousand dollars building a PC, then a few thousand more trying out PC laptops, only to be lead back to the Mac. But here’s the worst part: This wasn’t the first time I bought a MacBook Pro in the last year; it’s was about the 5th time. Each time I bought one and thought it would solve all my problems, but then I needed another dopamine fix so I returned it or sold it and got something else only to come back to the MacBook Pro again a few weeks later. And this doesn’t even include the 4 or 5 times I bought Mac Minis in the last couple years.
I’ve learned a couple things:
- My behavior is destructive and not rooted in reality. I have clearly ported my addictive behavior from drinking to buying things. I’ve always loved to buy things, but this kind of buying and rebuying is not normal. I also ported my addictive behavior to eating a ton of ice cream every week, but that’s a story for another day.
- There’s no point in buying tech if it’s not going to be used. I look around and I have 30–40 sets of headphones, 5 computers in the house. Parts for probably 2 or 3 more. At one point, I had 8–10 smartphones (right now I have 5). And all of that would be fine if I used the stuff, but I don’t. I use one set of headphones at a time and I have a couple that I keep going back to. Otherwise, if I’m not using them, what’s the point in having them?
Over the past 5–6 years, I justified this behavior by saying it was for my business. And some if it is. It’s good to have the previous year’s model of phone to compare to the latest, but truth be told, I’ve been using the iPhone 12 Pro Max since it was released and I didn’t see any need to change to the 13 or 14 because there wasn’t enough different about them to justify spending the money.
This all might sound crazy to someone who’s deep down the rabbit hole of the “tech community”, whatever that means. But most people don’t talk about phones every day, all the time. They don’t follow the minutest of details coming out of their preferred brand’s camp like it their favorite sports team. Most people buy a phone and use it until it breaks or they’ve paid it off enough to get a new one. Samsung and Apple want you to buy a new phone every year, but Apple still supports iPhones all the way back to the iPhone 8 (released in 2017) with their current version of iOS. So other than jonesing for the latest shiny bauble, why would you need to upgrade?
Tech companies have trained us to want this stuff, to want it so bad that our self worth seems to be riding on it. I guess I’ve been doing this long enough that I’ve seen the cycle repeat until it just feels gross to me and I’m disgusted with myself.
A lot of it has to do with what I’ve already gone through as an addict. I can recognize when I’m engaging in addictive behavior and I have pulled myself out of it more times than I care to admit. I quit smoking in 2001. I quit drinking in 2012. Neither of those things is easy. The time has come for me to take responsibility for the way I spend my money on tech and the way I live and use my tech. And how I present that to the people who watch my videos.
Right now, as the media loves to remind us every day so we’ll keep tuning in, we’re in the midst of a recession. Maybe it’ll get worse, maybe not, but when I see myself buying thousands and thousands of dollars in tech to replace tech that I’ve barely used, I have to ask myself if I’m living my best life.
Before I started making YouTube videos, My goal buying tech was to get the best piece of gear I could afford to use making the stuff that I make and doing the work I need to do. Before I started YouTube I was a writer and musician and the tech I bought facilitated those endeavors. Now, nearly a decade into my YouTube career, all I do is buy tech and then I buy more tech. I don’t use it to make anything anymore. It’s like an alcoholic saying he’s going out to the bar to hangout with friends when really he’s just using that as an excuse to go get wasted and make bad life choices. Now just make those bad life choices at Best Buy.
What I used to love about buying tech, the peeling the plastic, the new tech smell, even setting up a new computer or integrating a new piece of gear into my recording setup now just feels like popping a pill. I need that high. I’m an addict. They say an addict will always be an addict and I’ve found that to be true. I’ve shifted my addictive behavior from smoking, drinking, to buying and making YouTube videos (which is also a way to get the dopamine hit of attention from other people). I’ve used my career as a YouTuber to legitimize that addiction. I’m not only an addict, I’m a pusher. I’ve got to sell to you to feed my own habit. And we’ve all watched enough TV to know you should never get high on your own supply.
My grandparents grew up during The Great Depression and living through that experience, especially if you were poor, had a significant impact on your relationship with money. My grandmother had a saying she repeated often but I never appreciated until I realized I was living a life predicated on consumption only, not creation: Use it up, wear it out, make do, or do without.
Can you imagine telling someone who broke their phone to just do without in this day and age? Yeah, me neither.
I didn’t write this to make you feel bad about themselves and your relationship with tech. I wrote it because I need to work on my relationship with tech, and by extension how I go about doing my business as an online content creator. Talking exclusively about the newest products just because that’s what’s trending is a vapid, soulless pursuit and I want to do something more with my influence. I want to show people how to use their tech, whether it’s to create something or to just live their lives with their tech more effectively. I need to get out of the mindset of buying and get into the mindset of using.
Because no matter how you slice it, I am an addict. And I’m addicted to spending my money on stuff I don’t need while never using the stuff I already have. I haven’t released any music in more than 10 years. I haven’t published a book in more than 10 years. It’s no accident those two facts coincide with the beginning of my life as a YouTuber.
If I’m going to live the kind of life I want to live, have to do things differently. I have to fix my relationship with tech. And maybe you do, too.
